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To make amends means to apologize for something you have done or for wronging someone in some way. It means mending, or (quite literally) fixing, the relationship. When choosing to make amends, exercise careful consideration of yourself and others to ensure you avoid causing further harm in your recovery efforts. Before you decide who to approach and how you intend to make amends, reflect on your efforts at recovery and the intent behind making amends. The sponsor plays a critical role in the amends process by offering guidance, expertise, and tailored advice to navigate the process of making amends. The AA Big Book emphasizes the importance of being willing to make amends for the harm we have caused, while also avoiding causing further harm in the process.
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In direct amends, you see the person you’ve harmed so you can take ownership of what happened. Taking ownership involves accepting responsibility, of course. Also, you need to be prepared to listen to the other person when they explain how you harmed them and what other consequences it had in their lives.
- Recovery from addiction is a challenging journey, marked by personal transformation and self-discovery.
- When you’re looking to change both your behavior and your broken relationships, stop making excuses to fulfill your promises.
- You can still be true to that by making an honest apology and not making excuses for why you didn’t follow through.
- What about the late nights that we kept our parents up worrying?
- In Step 9, participants acknowledge the negative impact their addiction had on others and commit to direct amends where possible.
- However, you can still take action in all of these situations to satisfy the spirit and the intent of Step 9 and progress in your step work.
- Recovery is a challenging but immensely rewarding path, and making amends is a crucial component of this journey.
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- Making amends does not necessarily depend on your ability to connect with a person or how they respond to you.
- If this happens, remember the purpose of making amends was accepting responsibility and offering to right a wrong.
- Once you enter into sobriety, there isn’t a set timeline for working Steps 8 and 9, so you might want to ask your sponsor and recovery support network for their insights about whether you’re ready.
- However, it is equally designed for the people in your life now and in the future.
- When those we’ve hurt are not able or willing to accept our amends, we can still move in a positive general direction by taking intentional steps to be of service to others or making living amends.
When you make amends, you acknowledge and align your values to your actions by admitting wrongdoing and then living by your principles. Joi Honer directs the operations that support our alumni in their recovery from mental health and substance use disorders. Ms. Honer, who has been in long-term recovery for over 40 years, has worked in the treatment field for over 33 years.
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You don’t have to take our word for the success of sober living in preventing relapse. Please read our success stories below, or contact our team today to talk to some of our experts. My name is Kyle, and I have been a blessed recipient of a sober living scholarship program from Living Amends. If you promised your living amends father to help him mow the lawn on Sundays, but years have passed, and you’ve never once shown up, start now.
It involves direct contact with the individual alcohol rehab you have harmed. This can occur in person, by phone, email, or any other form of communication. Join our supportive sober community where each day becomes a step towards personal growth and lasting positive change.
Yes, we partake in the process to “clean up our side of the street,” but we do not make amends to clear our conscience or undo our feelings of guilt. If someone does not want to hear from us, we respect that and do our best to move forward with our recoveries. We can also make amends by living very purposefully within the bounds of our principles. For example, if we hurt people with our lying and we cannot make amends without further injuring them, we would make living amends by making a decision to behave and communicate with complete honesty. Step Nine states that we make amends “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We don’t want our actions to cause further damage, harm or stress. In those cases, we can make amends in a broader sense by taking actions like donating money, volunteering our time or providing care.
Making Living Amends in 12 Step Recovery
It also offers others a chance to gain resolution or a deeper understanding of your recovery journey. Repairing previous harm also assists in helping you rebuild important relationships which may have been impacted by addiction. Making any type of amends can be challenging, but in this article, we’ll focus on living amends and tips for how to make them. If you or a loved one is struggling to stay sober or needs help maintaining sobriety while working the 12 Steps, Eudaimonia Recovery Homes can help. Call us or fill out our online contact form today to get started. They want to find ways of making up for all their past wrongs, and they don’t want to miss the opportunity to do so once their loved one dies.
